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The MYTH of Bridezilla

August 10, 2016

So often people ask the question, "Do you have to work with many bridezillas?"  My answer is always the same, "I don't believe in Bridezillas."  So, wedding world and general internet audience, let me explain why...

Imagine yourself in this position:

 

You just answered (or asked) one of the biggest questions of your life.  Now you're being bombarded with all kinds of questions...when's the date? Where will you host it? Will we have to travel? You're thinking about all the has to be done to plan for the event that society deems as one of the most important in your life.  How much do I spend for a DJ?  Food costs how much per person?  How much money do I have to spend on this? You may even put pressure on yourself to hit the gym a few more times a week.  The list continues.

 

NOW... you've spent a year planning, and your anticipation is seriously building.  You've looked forward to this big event for a long time.  You're expected to host a grand party, spend lots of money, and look beautiful (but also be sweetly and sentimentally emotional).  You have a party the night before this big event.  You want to go to sleep because you have to wake up at 7am to prepare for the event, but you also want to be a great host and spend time with loved ones who traveled from all over to see you.

 

IT'S THE DAY!  Eating...maybe you'll be lucky enough.  You want to get some breakfast in, but your makeup must be done before your hair (and you don't want to mess it up!).  You're about to grab lunch when you realize the photographer is here already and it's almost time to get into your dress.  And your options for food are severely limited once your dress goes on for fear of getting it dirty.  Oh, and you're about to get up in front of a LOT of people and make public statements about a commitment that is intended for FORVER.  

 

End scenario.

What do you get when someone experiences decision fatigue, physical fatigue, societal stress and pressure, anxiety, and hunger?  People deal with these multiple stresses in many ways...

***this brief list is only a sampling of possible reactions.

 

Some might fold inward and retreat from the scenario altogether...the "shy and nervous bride." 

 

These overwhelming feelings for some may lead to a breakdown in the form of crying ...  the "emotional" bride.

 

Others may have a "who cares anymore" response and simply leave the chips to fall where they may... the "relaxed and easygoing" bride.  

 

And then the people who can't let go, who still care so much but may not know how to deal with being sleep deprived, anxious, hungry and all the other emotions we throw into this scenario... they often get snappy, annoyed, and maybe even angry...this is the one we label the "BRIDEZILLA."

 

I challenge you though, instead of labeling the bride so quickly, think about what's on their plate, and what might actually help them first (a quick snack, a moment to breathe, taking something off of their mile long list of things to keep track of, etc.).  To me, having an angry, frustrated, or impatient reaction from a bride is most likely just a symptom of the pressure someone is under, not a realistic description of someone who really cares about their wedding day.  

 

So no...I do not believe in Bridezillas, they are a myth set in place to scare brides into acting even more perfect than they're expected to be on their wedding day.  I do believe in passionate people who become overwhelmed and exhibit what could be considered normal reactions under stressful circumstances.  And most importantly, I believe in hearing these stressed and overtaxed brides out, and working with them to come up with a solution to whatever their issues may be.

 

All the best,

Libby

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