Congrats! If you’re reading this you’ve probably been asked to be someone’s MOH. (or you’re a bride who’s thinking… what exactly is my little sister or best friend supposed to be doing for me?) In either case, you have something to celebrate: an honored position in someone you love’s wedding, or someone to stand by your side through the whole process of getting married. Yay!!
People have MANY ideas of what duties should be required of an MOH. There are some obvious ones (buy the dress, hold the bouquet, make a toast). And then there are not so obvious ones. Take a look at the list below. If you can take care of these things, chances are your bride will love you, thank you, and be SO happy she chose you to be her person to count on.
1. Be there for the bride. This sounds simple enough, but I’m not just talking about on the wedding day. Call her, text her, check in. How’s the planning going? Does she need help with anything? Can you do anything for her? Does she want you to join her for anything (dress fitting, decor shopping… you may even be invited to cake taste!)
2. Say yes to the dress. NO MATTER WHAT. If the bride knows exactly what she wants you to wear, wear it. If she asks for your opinion, tell her about which dress, style, color, etc. you prefer.
3. Plan her shower. You don’t have to do this on your own, but unless another bridesmaid or family member has taken it on, you should be the leader on this one. Get together with her mother (who probably wants to be involved) and all the other bridesmaids to create something you know the bride will love. Shower her with love, presents, food, and drink.
4. Plan her bachelorette party! Bachelorettes can be simple, a day at the spa, or extravagant, an entire weekend in Vegas. Either way, the bride shouldn’t be reserving anything or paying for anything. (keep this in mind when planning the event… all the bridesmaids should all add in a portion of the event to cover the bride’s costs). And the event should be planned with the bride in mind. If the bride has made it clear she does NOT want phallic paraphernalia , please please please do NOT get penis straws (even if you think it’s hilarious).
5. Plan to arrive early. By this, I mean plan to arrive to all wedding events early to help. With anything. Get to the rehearsal early so you can talk through the bride’s anxiety with her. Get to the hair and makeup appointment early so that if the bride is running late, you can go first and keep the schedule on track.
6. Be the ringleader. You are in position #1. You’ve been talking with the bride throughout the planning process. You know what she wants. You’ve been communicating and coordinating with the other bridesmaids about all other wedding activities. When it comes to the other ladies, make sure everyone knows where they’re supposed to be, and when. And if something is going on with someone, take care of it if possible… try not to bother bride. She doesn’t need that stress.
7. Fluff and hold. During the ceremony, your job is to fluff the bride’s train once she gets into position at the altar, and then hold her bouquet. Don’t forget to give it back to her before she goes back down the aisle as a Mrs!
8. Make a toast. Yes, you will be expected to give a toast. It doesn’t have to be long. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Make it personal, and I bet you’ve got a winner.
9. Be the hostess with the mostest. At the wedding reception, talk to guests, mingle, get grandpa out on the dance floor! Guests look to the wedding party to see what’s going on. Help host the event by making sure guests know where to go, leading the crowd, and wearing an approachable smile.
10. Make it about her. You’ll have your day. Maybe you already have? But for now, this day is hers, and being the best MOH is about making sure your bride has a smile on her face, or a sweet tear in her eye (and/or maybe a mimosa in hand ;) .
Most of all… have fun, and make sure the bride knows you love her.